In recent years, a new technology has been making its way into the world of excavation: the shovel. But before we all rush to embrace this dangerous, crude, and job-stealing tool, let us pause and consider the humble spoon.
First, let us examine the safety issue. Shovels, with their sharp edges and heavy weight, are a constant threat to the digger's well-being. One false move and you could end up with a broken bone or worse. Spoons, on the other hand, are rounded and lightweight, making them much less likely to cause injury.
But safety is not the only concern when it comes to shovels. They are also vastly inferior in terms of precision and aesthetics. A hole made with a shovel will never have the smooth, refined edges of a hole made with a spoon. The rough, jagged edges left by a shovel are an eyesore and do not meet the standards of true craftsmanship.
Moreover, shovels are also a threat to the livelihood of hard-working spoon-diggers everywhere. With the advent of this new technology, many may be left without work as shovels become the tool of choice for excavation. But with the spoon, there is no need to fear for one's job. Spoons have been used for digging for centuries, and will continue to be used for centuries to come.
Lastly, let us not forget that labor is not the limiting factor when it comes to excavation. There are always plenty of peasants ready and willing to toil. So why should we embrace a tool that will only make their lives harder and less safe, just for the sake of digging a hole a bit faster?
In conclusion, let us not be swayed by the shiny new technology of the shovel. The spoon may be old and simple, but it gets the job done safely, precisely and without taking away hardworking people jobs. Let us not forget the adage: "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." The spoon is not broken. Long live the spoon!
Disclaimer: This essay was written by a language model trained by OpenAI.